Bugman is making new stuffs
Bugman is making new stuffs
The Ultimate Communication Tool
Having a radio communcator was the dream of every cool kids. Texting your friends about the
link textPolice are beginning to suspect that the city may be witnessing their first serial killer and is warning its residents to remain vigilant. Investigators are currently testing DNA evidence from the most recent strangling in an attempt to link the three murders.
"We cannot confirm at this point that this is a repeat offender but we are looking into the similarties of the victims and hop to verify if a DNA link exists." Scranton Police Chief Spud Williams said at a press conference, CONT'D PAGE 4
Week 5
The video you see up there is a small town
Dunder Mifflin Alleges that a disgruntled employee at the manufacturer the produces the paper palced the watermark on select cases before being shipped to Dunder Mifflin for delivery to their customers. Dunmore High School was one of the local organizations affected by the watermark as they sent out their prom invitations on the cream colored paper.
Michael Scott, the regional manger for dunder Mifflin Scranton, elevated his team to threat level midnight. He also had his accounting department
assit efforst to help customers affected by the crisis. "When a company scews up, best thing to do is call a press conference. Alert the media and you control the story. Wait for them to find out and the story controls you. That's what happened to OJ," said Scott.
Creed Bratton, Director of Quality Assurance for Dunder Mifflin Scranton, stated that he was scheduled to meet with Debbie Brown, a representative at the paper manufacturer, for a quality check the week prior but was informed that she was out with the flu, or for an emergency dentist appointment, preventing Bratton from catching the mistake. Calls to Debbie Brown were not returned. The Times later learned that Brown had been relieved of her duties at the paper manufacturer as a result of the watermakr situation.
Barbara Allen, one of Dunder
you with this noveltly check for six months of free paper, or 25 reams, whichever comes first."
Allen, clearly upset and frustrated with the "watermark boner," demanded that Scott resign his position to satisfy her after being asked how the company could make the situation right. Allen then state that as she headof the company Scott should lose his position. "You should lose your job!" scolded ALlen. Scott refused resignation, stating to Allen that "it wasn't my fault, it was the guys at the paper mill."
Dwight Schrute, Assistant to the Regional Manager and Senior Sales Associate, state that the "sex appeared to be consensual as both animals were smiling."
Allen threatened to contact the Better Business Bureau as she was asked to leave to which Scott retorted that he would be calling the "ungrateful beyotch hotline."
In a panic, Scott released an apology video that was posted online. In it, Scott states that "it wasn't me (referencing who put the watermark on the paper). They are trying to make me an escape goat."
The Scranton Branch of Dunder Mifflin Paper recently merged with the Stamford, CT branch as the company looked to cut costs. Dunder Mifflin also has branches in Buffalo Albany, Utica, Yonkers, Akron, Camden, binghamton and Nashua. The closure of the Stamford branch folows a closure in Pittsfield, MA due to employees possible unionization. As of press time, David Wallace, Chief Financial Officer, and Jan Levison, VP of Northeast Sales, did not respond to several requests for comment on this story.
Mifflin's important and most tenured clients, was invited to the branch for a formal apology by Michael Scott. "Mrs. Allen is our most important client, because every client is our most important client, even though she's a pretty unimportant client," said Scott.
"And so, with the eyes of the nation upon us, I would like to say that Dunder Mifflin truly regrets this unfortunate incident and, as a gesture of gratitude for your continued loyalty, Mrs. Allen, I would like to present
